Nothing says Christmas Cheer like "clanging chimes of doom"!

Have you ever listened to the lyrics of a favorite song... I mean REALLY listened to them and realized it's not about what you thought? 

Let me preface this by saying that this really IS my favorite Xmoose song. Especially when Bare Naked Ladies sings it with beautiful harmonies. (really as far as Bare Naked Ladies is concerned, the entire album is fantastic! I highly recommend it for all your holiday gatherings)

Clanging Chimes of Doom

Many years ago, I was listening to Xmoose music and 'Do They Know It's Christmas?' came on. 

Man! The 80's were rough. Even when feeding the world they didn't look too happy about it. :)

You know? The one recorded by Band Aid in '84 to raise money for Africa relief? Now I was raised in the 80's and 90's. I've heard this song every year around this time for my ENTIRE life. 

However, it wasn't until about 7 years ago that I really listed to the words. What caught me first was the sudden realization that this song said "clanging chimes of doom". I turned to my co-worker and said "did they just say 'clanging chimes of doom'?" She gave a noncommital 'I don't know, who cares' shrug and head tilt.

I couldn't accept it. I made us listen to Xmoose music everyday all day long just so I could hear it again. No. I didn't think to look up the lyrics online... I think this was before I realized things like song lyrics WERE online. I'm computer savvy but I think my understanding of the scope of the internet may have been delayed :)  Moving on.

I heard it several times over the next few days. Each time hearing another great Christmas phrase like, 'bitter sting of tears' and 'world of dread and fear'. My next favorite part of this song was how we were SO thankful that this pitiful and obviously god-forsaken existence was happening to someone else and not you. I mean, we can send them money... and we should. But "THANK GOD it's them instead of you".

Now, through all this love and money and assistance we're sending to Africa the best part was the message of a single line: "the greatest gift they'll get this year is life". The first time I heard this line and by heard I mean really heard it, I thought, what greater gift is there? Is life not enough? I was appalled by the Music industries ability to turn a starving country into an advertisement for more presents. Now, years have gone by and I have come to understand that the line is probably referring to the fact that our monetary assistance was providing life and thus giving them the greatest gift. Unfortunately, my mind just can't let go of that initial realization. 

Now my biggest beef with this Christmas song is actually much more spiritual. So if you don't want to hear (read) it. Stop now. It's OK, I wont be offended...

K. If you're this far its cause you want to be here. Welcome.

"Do they know it's christmas time at all?"

This line posed a very spiritual Xmoose question for me those many years ago. DO they know it's christmas time? Why should they HAVE to know? What if not knowing about christmas is a perfectly happy existence for them? What if they don't care that it's christmas? Why do we have to tell them? It's a rhetorical question. I know why (southern baptists taught me why for most of my childhood)... I don't believe why but I know. I don't agree with why, but I know. So we go and bring all the money and food, just cause it's christmas time and that's when we care... what then? When christmas is over and we go back to our lives, what about Africa? I wonder what came of this campaign. Maybe one day I'll look into the statistics and numbers on the funds raised and donated by this song and how long of an impact they had on Africa at christmas... and after.

But for now. I'm content to listen to my favorite Xmoose song because it fills me with happy yule tide greetings every time I hear

"clanging chimes of doom".

ING

!jen

Santa is dead. Joy. It's that time of year again.

Yes. I told my daughter Santa was dead. But that was like 3 years ago now, so who's still fussing about it?? I'll tell you who. Adults who can't let it go.

So lets back up. I never intended to tell my daughter Santa was dead. It was not my formal plan from the beginning. I'll admit, I have very few formal plans where things like this are concerned. I prefer to let these things play out organically....Here's how 'Santa is dead' organically came to be.

When Z was 3 we were at a community event in which Santa arrives on a fire truck. As the truck drove in she was up on daddy's shoulders and asked, 'mommy, is that the real Santa?' I couldn't lie, I said 'no sweet girl.' Hoping that would be the end of it.... I know unreal hope, I know.

She asked 'where is the real Santa?' I looked at my husband, who promptly made the 'slashing across the throat' motion to tell me 'don't do it'. I threw my hands up in helplessness, turned to my daughter and said 'he's dead.' 

I know, you're about to jump in your time machine and slap 'past' me before I'm able to ruin Xmoose. But here's the thing, she took it like it was totally normal, which it is. People die all the time, some are already dead, fact of life. She asked 'then, who is that?' indicating the Santa on the truck. I told her he was one of Santa's helpers. NOW, you're wondering how a dead man can have helpers. Isn't a dead man in MOST need of helpers to carry on their work?  Santa (clause), Walt (Disney), Steve (Jobs), Jim (Henson), Abraham (Lincoln).... The list could go on, but you get it, right? Many of history's great accomplishers had posthumous assistance in carrying on their work. So it goes with Santa. We also explained to her that Santa has MANY helpers. This man on the truck, the Santa at the mall and even me and daddy, when we put your presents under the tree and you are Santa's helper. She looked at me and daddy in awe. 'I am santa's helper?' Then we had the best conversation about spreading love and kindness and that anyone who does that is one of Santa's helpers, anytime of year. The look of AWE in her eyes at the idea that we were all Santa's helpers, it was better than any wide eyed amazement at 'santa' related lies, like foot prints outside our fireplace, or bites taken out of cookies or calls on the phone to Santa himself. 

Sister Z, watching excitedly as someone ELSE opens presents, Despite knowing Santa is dead...amazing!

On the way home Z asked how Santa died. I was again, honest and said I didn't know. We talked about what we did know. He was a very kind man that lived so long ago that no one alive today, was alive with him. He loved children SO much that he used to make gifts for all the children in his village and deliver them in the middle of winter when the snow was too think for children to come out and play. He would load up his sleigh, the best way to travel over snow, and deliver the toys. By this point my husband had looked up how Saint Nicolas had died, natural causes. She asked what that meant, we explained it meant he just got so old that his body couldn't work anymore. She accepted all of this. Without fuss or doubt or confusion. Take a look at Wikipedia for a little muttled history of Santa. He comes from SO many people and cultures to a modified version of a mix of all of them. It's no wonder parents feel they need to lie. They don't know the truth either :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

This is how I used to think of Santa. Image found on FineArtAmerica

Here's the best part. None of this has dampened her awe or belief in the spirit of Xmoose. She loves Xmoose movies, Xmoose decorations, singing Xmoose carols, and shopping for presents for family and friends. Each year she becomes more aware of the importance of being kind, gentle and forgiving. Although she will play along with 'maybe Santa will bring it for Xmoose' and even talks about him in a real sense, if asked flat out, she says he's dead, he lived a long time ago and died a long time ago. 

Why am I ok with this? As a parent, don't I want to foster belief in magical things? Don't I want to foster a rich imagination? Come meet my children, their belief in magical things is fostered by our belief that ALL things are magical. Her rich imagination is fostered by our ability to 'say yes' when we play. If she wants her pet dragon to smell like strawberries and breathe bubbles and grow fur at night to keep them both warm... We say yes!

Another side note reason about being OK with it is this:

Found this image through a google search on Sorcerer's Skull.

I personally left Satan behind in my early 20's (I literally don't believe in Satan or evil for that matter, but that's a blog for another time :) and shortly after that similarities between Satan and Santa were undeniable.

1. They are both considered 'outside of God'. Satan, out rightly opposing God and Santa, simply ignored by the church and considered 'secular' and thus ungodly.

2. They are both personifications of mixed cultural influences and thus neither is true to its origin.

3. and most inspiring for my dislike of societies use of either one....They are both used to keep children in line. 'Be good or satan takes you to hell', 'be good or Santa won't bring you presents'.
How can I believe in and perpetuate a lie that is used to keep my children "good" by instilling fear?
No. I prefer that they are good because they choose to be, because we have taught them the joy of it.

But I digress...

Santa is dead, mostly because I couldn't lie to her. Think about it....telling our children there is a man and millions of elves at the North Pole, building all the toys for every child on the planet and delivering them in one night... Is a lie. Even if its justified as fostering the magic of childhood.... It's still a lie. For some kids, learning Santa isn't real is a huge turning point. For some of those kids... Learning their parents lied for so many years is even more traumatic. I will not lie to my kids. Period. About anything. Why would Santa be different? A lie is a lie. How can I teach my children not to lie, if I am not willing to live by the same? 

I can't. So I won't lie to them. This means I have many conversations that parents dread or worse postpone as long as possible. And I am convinced that having such conversations whenever my children ask means we have a more honest relationship... And a closer one. Because my children learn VERY early, that they can 1.ask me anything, 2.get an answer, and 3.my answer will be honest and true. Isn't it terrible when you hear of teenagers searching for answers about sex online and falling prey due to their ignorance? All because they didn't feel they could ask Mom or Dad. Or worse, they were brave enough to ask the awkward questions and got unsuitable lies instead of the honest truth. This will never be my children... or any child who is brave enough to ask me.

Anyway! After seeing 'Rise of the Guardians' and reading the books, the whole house sees Santa (Nicholas St. North) a little differently... its more like this now:

Found this image on Fairy Room: In Search of Krampus

'In Search of Krampus' written by Brom, has just given my house several books to add to our holiday selections... what a nice surprise while I was just looking for pictures of Santa.

So, in our house Santa is dead and we are all his helpers. People often find this disconcerting... but it works for us. It allows us to focus on the Spirit of the Season instead of the biggest present under the tree. 

Feel free to comment, I'd love to hear what your family does that others may find odd. They tend to be the most fun and meaningful traditions.

Wether you perpetuate the myth of Santa in ways I would find ethically appalling :) or you retell the story of Santa that ends with him being dead or anything in between... 

I wish you and yours the Merriest of Yuletides and the Happiest of New Years.

ING
!jen

Ecotopia, a life model.

The decision to Homeschool... 

(or how the hokey pokey makes a difference)

We all know the stereotype of homeschooled kids. They are awkward, don't know how to make friends, are endlessly nerdy and have no idea what pop culture is due to their massively sheltered lives :)

I never actually thought I'd end up homeschooling. Especially once I found Montessori. Then 2 things happened. First I found the book called Ecotopia by Ernest Callenbach and second, my little sister came to live with us. 

First: Ecotopia. This book Blew My Mind. It truly was a life altering read. For those who are not familiar this is the books synopsis: 

Ecotopia was founded when northern California, Oregon, and Washington seceded from the Union to create a “stable-state” ecosystem: the perfect balance between human beings and the environment. Now, twenty years later, this isolated, mysterious nation is welcoming its first officially sanctioned American visitor: New York Times-Post reporter Will Weston.

Skeptical yet curious about this green new world, Weston is determined to report his findings objectively. But from the start, he’s alternately impressed and unsettled by the laws governing Ecotopia’s earth-friendly agenda: energy-efficient “mini-cities” to eliminate urban sprawl, zero-tolerance pollution control, tree worship, ritual war games, and a woman-dominated government that has instituted such peaceful revolutions as the twenty-hour workweek and employee ownership of farms and businesses. His old beliefs challenged, his cynicism replaced by hope, Weston meets a sexually forthright Ecotopian woman and undertakes a relationship whose intensity will lead him to a critical choice between two worlds.

A hippy book? (as my husband calls it) Yes. But amazing none the less. The 20 hour work week was particularly interesting to me along with the notion that "school" is more like summer camp/homeschooling/unschooling. In Ecotopia, life is about honesty, conservation (of the land and of the self) and community. These are tenets that rang true and deep for me. 

I told my husband that I would move to Ecotopia in a heart beat and realized how sad I was that I couldn't, what with it being an imaginary place and all... I feel that way after reading lots of books with fanciful worlds but Ecotopia seems possible to me. 

My 3 homeschool students :)

Second: My little sister came to live with us. She is 12 now. She was 11 when she came and we got to experience her 6th grade year of public school. It was amazing. We spent the first semester fighting nightly, over homework, until we quit helping her because she was so rude. But the deeper problem was that she was getting assignments that she couldn't complete on her own because public school had failed miserably at "teaching" her prior to her 6th grade year. They made sure she 'knew' something for a test and didn't care if she retained, remembered or held on to it for life. But then expected her to find that information in August for the next grade. This was infuriating. She was expected to fall in step with kids who were beyond her understanding AND keep up. It wasn't until we got her final grades during the summer that I officially lost it. In the first month of school she was put into a math support class. So she attended her normal math/science class AND she then went to another math class where they went over all work from the normal math class. Sounds great, right?! A whole other class that assists her in getting her math homework done. It was brought to our attention through, observations of her work and inability to complete simple math equations, that the math support class was simply "going over" the work, which resulted in the giving of answers.... not the learning of skills. So her grades came and she had failed math... but aced the math support class. She also failed 2 other classes. 

And they were passing her to 7th grade!! Lets pass her till 12th grade and then hold her diploma till she "learns" how to pass the tests. 

Now, I don't blame teachers... mostly. I blame the system. (now, if teachers stood up for individual students rights and needs and say... went on strike to force a reform... well there's a story, but I digress). 

I believe the public school model is out dated, and I'm not the only one.

Trevor Eissler has a few takes on the subject

Ryan Normandin, staff writer for The Tech online edition 

Has a few thoughts.

Ken Robinson: 'How school kills creativity' Is funny but serious and brilliant.









These are just a few of examples. Take a moment, watch, read and most of all think.

So there I am, Ecotopia on the brain and a sister who failed 6th grade and is still passing. My own daughter would have started 1st grade in public school this year, based on her birthday. So I did a bit of research on homeschooling before we made the choice. I first went to the Hawaii Department of Education website... if I was going to homeschool I needed to know what standards were expected of us. I read over the 7th grade set... then the 6th... then the 5th, there I found mostly where my sister was. Except in math... she was below 5th and I couldn't bring myself to set her at 4th grade standards, so we took the Montessori approach, assessed her as an individual and made our plans from there.

Then I read through the 1st grade standards to see what my daughter should be learning. I could count on 1 hand the number of 1st grade standards that she didn't already know... as a kindergarden graduate. So I went into the 2nd grade standards and found where she was in math... but still not in language or world languages or technologies... I didn't go to the 3rd grade... I gave up. I have the standards printed for each girls respective "grade level" (1st and 7th) but we rarely reference them. And I felt bad about that... at first.

Then I got a dose of Montessori memory. Montessori assesses each child, plans for them and teaches them, period. No "standards" or grades. So why was I suddenly guilty about not adhering to the standards... and the guilt was gone. I believe the public system is flawed, so why would I follow the standards of a flawed system? Because I've been conditioned, brainwashed to follow it.

I went back to my Montessori roots and planned our curriculum for the year WITH the girls. We made a list of things we were interested in learning about. This is where 'only passionate curiosity' was VERY helpful. This blog gave me a few pages to get me started on organizing my thoughts and plans. Once I had that all planned out. Daily lessons came fast and furious. Take a look at her simple pages and use them to get your homeschool experience organized and moving.

I know homeschool is not for everyone. And realistically, if we weren't on an island that had NO Montessori programs for my sister... we might not be homeschooling, they would probably be in a Montessori school. But now that we're here and doing it, I wouldn't trade it. At all. My daughter is still moving at a pace to be reckoned with, reading into the 2nd grade level and my sister has taken up cooking, do you realize how much math is in cooking?? Even though she constantly has to add or subtract fractions, convert teaspoons to tablespoons and reread recipes when she tries to tell me we need 10 4oz packets of ranch mix for our dressing... she sticks with it. The ability to use what she loves to teach has made a great difference in her learning to love learning.

Which is totally Hokey Pokey (what it's all about).

ING
!jen

Turning 'toys' into shelf work.

Making Work for the Shelf

(how to turn any TOY into a job)

I'm often faced with teachers who say "that's just a toy, it shouldn't be on the shelf." To them I reply "that's just your lack of creativity talking, watch." Then I show said teacher exactly what my kids are getting from that "toy" on the shelf.

So this is a little intro to making any toy into a job for the shelf of your classroom, wether that classroom is in a center based program or your own home, the principles are the same.

I once took over a classroom in a performing arts school and though the owner knew a little about Montessori philosophy the teacher I took over from, did not. The result was a slew of 'materials' that were just toys being rotated every few weeks with no real intention behind what was chosen, when it was rotated or how it was displayed. So I became unexpectedly adept at turning "toys" into jobs. 

The classroom had a pretend stove and fridge in the dramatic play corner. I broke them up. Turned the stove into a practical life shelf. And the fridge became our sensorial (on the left side) and beginning math shelf (on the right side). I spent a few hours cleaning out all the fake food that was shoved in and on every shelf. Step 1 was to organize the food and decide who much was actually being used. I tried several different variations before making a final decision. I had to weed out what they weren't using and categorize what they were so they could actually play with all the pieces... novel idea!

Next we were on to the "toys". The first step there was 'purpose'. Determining a purpose (or lesson) for each material. Most "toys" can be very versatile.

Like the plastic keys in 5 colors could be a color sorting work but the keys also varied in size (and shape)... a size (or shape) sorting job, or I could place keys in various patterns, take pictures, laminate the pictures and then we have a patterning work. Once choices are made as to the purpose of the material, setting up the tray and placing it on the right shelf are much easier. I decided to make the keys into a color sorting job (sensorial shelf), as a few of my kids were pretty little. I left the rings out... again, little hands got frustrated with the intricate task of placing keys on the rings and snapping the rings closed. Then I put all the keys into a bucket on a tray, with color labels. Labels get placed on the rug and keys sorted under them. After this job rotated out and back in, I changed it's purpose. You may ask "weren't they confused by the change in lesson?" NOPE. With the job being off the shelf completely for a time, it was easy to reintroduce. Additionally, if kids are using it in the old way, it was ok. As long as they are being respectful with the materials... I'm pretty flexible on HOW they use them.

Another example.

I currently have a magnetic doll set. Now some teachers, even Montessori ones, would take that nicely separated tray that 'Melissa and Doug' sell their magnetic doll in and place it right on the shelf. Which is fine. It allows for creativity and maybe even teamwork if you have the set with a boy and a girl in it. However, it could be so much more. A matching work: take pictures of predetermined clothing combinations and have students try to match the outfits you made. A sequencing work: laying out 'bottoms' from shortest to tallest or laying out tops, least colors to most colors. A patterning work: lay all clothes out in predetermined patterns (take pictures before hand) or let students make their own patterns (top, pants, shoe, top, pants, shoe or shoe, skirt, shoe skirt). Also don't be afraid to eliminate a few pieces, especially for younger children. Like for my son  (2), I'd only put out the clothing pieces he needed to do the job, no distractions and less pieces to loose.

We do similar things, now that we're homeschooling, with our play kitchen. Right now it has a 'pizza serving' work and 'ice cream serving' as part of our serving others/ manners curriculum and 'cooking utensils' as part of our creativity curriculum. These rotate as we find new things on sale or at goodwill.

What areas of your playroom or classroom could use a sprucing? Go shopping at places like Ross or Goodwill to find great deals on "toys" that you can turn into a fun new job.

If you have a material in mind but need a bit of inspiration as to how to put it on the shelf, please email me. I LOVE getting inspired by what others are doing and offering a bit of that inspiration back.

 ING
!jen

Lifestyle? Photography... 10 tips.

Lifestyle? Photography... since when?

While getting ready to head to La Jolla on sunday for a day of beachy fun, my mom asked me to bring my camera in case there was a good shot of her at some point. She wanted something candid and unposed. I informed her that they call that "lifestyle photography" now.

Did you notice this change? cause it was very subtle and it wasn't until that conversation with my mom that I realized, just HOW subtle the change was.

Now at first, I was mad. I've always prided myself on getting the candid shots that you cherish for years to come 'during' my 'photo shoot'. This is why my childrens portraits are always met with some variation of 'that's SO (enter childs name here)!'. And yet NOW, everyone is claiming to have this... super power.

But then I came to terms with the fact that, that was the point. Lifestyle Photography is something everyone can do... brilliantly. My 5 year old takes amazing 'lifestyle' photographs.


A Beautiful Mess describes 5 tips for lifestyle photography.

1. bring your camera.

This may seem obvious, but you know you do it too. As you load up the 1001 things you're going to need or not going to use at all but can't leave at home... just in case, into the car you contemplate NOT going back for your camera. So just go get it.

These Tiako drummers were randomly in Carlsbad when we decided to go at the last minute. I almost didn't bring my camera...

2. zoom in.

This is something I learned from my high school photo teacher 'Half'. Although his reasons for zooming in during shooting were because we printed our own pictures and we were supposed to 'crop on site' so we didn't have to crop out in the darkroom. But the lesson still stands. Even more so in the digital world. Zooming in not only gives you a more interesting subject matter but saves you precious pixels in the digital darkroom.

this picture is on the 'A Beautiful Mess' blog as 'weird' cause it was the morning after she got engaged. I like it's cropping. Up close, could be any woman at starbucks but that ring pops either way.

3. be weird.

This she describes as getting those things that only make sense or matter to those 'in' on the joke. This is your odd subject matter or difficult to infer meanings category.

This is my son and his god mother. I have the same picture of her "hugging" his big sister when she was a little younger that he was in this shot. Eventually I will touch it up and clean the background and frame the 2 kids being 'hugged' by their god mother together. Weird picture? yes. Meaningful to us? YEP.

4. using your cell phone as a camera is ok.

This is true. 100%. a picture can be great no matter what it's shot on.

My son Icarus. Eating a hammer at Home Depot while his big sister builds something with her hammer. Snapped with my phone.

5. there is no such things as a 'wasted photo'.

Now I have to say that with digital this is a true statement. The amount of pictures you can get on a single card is sometimes mind boggling, so shoot away! However, I have to disagree if you're experimenting with film. Unless you have access to and know how to develop your own film and print your own pictures.... there can be lots of 'wasted photos' which translate to wasted money.

I would give you an example of any one of the MANY wasted shots I have on film... only I tend NOT to print those, go figure. and they are surprisingly difficult to scan in film form... until I get my film scanner. Someday..... someday.

I'm adding a few tips myself. Lets see how many I crank out before my toddler wrecks the kitchen and I'm called to entertain him while my husband finishes cooking.

6. Don't be afraid of getting dirty.
Thats where the most interesting angles are. I will be the first one to lay on the floor to get the amazing shot of the Tokyo Tower rising up into the sky.

Lay down, squat, lean over a railing or bench, whatever it takes for the perfect angle.

7. get creative with your light source.

Using the fire from the Poi my husband spins as the ONLY light source makes for much more interesting shots.

A long exposure did the REAL magic. But another light source would have completely washed out the image with a longer exposure.

8. Make things look undefinable.

Get SO close to her bent arm that you cant tell that its an arm. Take a picture from the back of something instead of the front.

9. Shoot the awkward.

get in the face of your grandmother as she screams at the neighbors to get off her lawn. Follow your son around until he eats another piece of dog food... don't stop him!! Shoot it.

10. Have patience.

When you see the perfectly mischievous grin creep across your daughters face and you race for your camera to try and catch the 'daddy jump' she is about to embark on and she's too fast for you... wait. moments, months, whatever it takes. Wait.

I'm still waiting for this shot...


Lifestyle Photography is full of interesting angles, unconventional lighting choices, odd subject matter, difficult to infer meanings and... fun. So grab your camera, start shooting and call it 'lifestyle' photography. Then enter it in a contest or something, you never know.


Happy shooting.
ING
!jen