Taking Christ out of Xmas: A Pagan Adventure.

I know. I know. It's called Christmas... he's right there in the name. How can I possibly think the season isn't about him?

In my youth, I discovered a startling tidbit. Scientists date the birth of Jesus in the summer. While no one knows for sure on what day or even what year he was born... It was the confirming of my distrust in the bible. This little theory and all it's accompanying (albeit, confusing and non conclusion forming) evidence and supporting information moved me away from the church all together. It helped me to name things I had been feeling and disliking for years about my 'religion'. But all that? Is for another post. End result? We follow a Pagan path. A religious path that places reverence on the planet and our connection with it.

As a result, I've celebrated Yule (the winter solstice) for many years now. And for most of those years, we also celebrated Xmas. Social construct made ditching it impossible. Visiting family every year made ditching it impossible. Childhood fondness of the 'season' made ditching it impossible.

Every year, my husband and I would talk about ways we could adjust, moving us away from commercialized Xmas traditions and toward what we really wanted, to spend time with each other and loved ones. Every year I expressed my want to have our 'present opening' morning on the solstice. But again, choosing that for us is all fine and well, but asking our family, who we were visiting each year, to change? Not so fine and well.

ENTER 2017!

This is the first year that we aren't going anywhere and that no one is visiting us. This year also happens to hold a convenient schedule handed out by my husbands office. This year, our sailor is not taking leave. Instead he gets his 4 day weekend at Xmas and another at New Years.
Man! Did I jump on that.

This year, we coupled these serendipitous happenings with our commitment to DO things before BUYING things.
It required a little ground work. To keep this in perspective, our kids are 3, 6, & 10. Prime selfish, me-me-me, give-me-all-the-stuff, age. We discussed with the kids about wanting to DO instead of BUY (a conversation we've actually had several times this year). We used examples of going to visit great friends for their birthdays last summer. Did they get fewer presents? Yes. Was it worth the fun we had instead? Heck Yes! Should we do it again for Xmas? Yes! It was a surprisingly easy conversation. Mostly, they were concerned that we would change our Solstice ritual. 'Will we still get up early and greet the sunrise?' Yes. 'Will we still do our candle spiral?' Yes. They were in!

Our Winter Solstice mat. We add a candle each night until the solstice. We sing and tell stories. It's a holiday staple now.

Step 1: make a list on Pinterest of 5 things they would each like to get. Knowing full well, they're only getting 2. That's the deal for getting to DO fun stuff.

So, here's our plan.

Day 1: We will wake the day after the solstice, take some snacky breakfast with us up a hill and great the sun as it begins to grow stronger. Normally we would eat out for breakfast, but this year?? We're doing presents. On the Solstice! So after our snacky breakfast watching the sunrise, we'll head home and open our presents. The rest of the day is for playing and eating and baking and spending time together. While everyone else is out chasing the "perfect" last minute gift in crowded malls, going into debt for it and stress eating their way through the food court, we'll be hanging at home, playing with our Solstice gifts. This is also the first of hubby's 4 days off.

Day 2: I have to work on the 23rd. So hubby will play more with the kids and their gifts and pack for our #YuleTide2017Adventure.

Day 3&4: On the 24th, after I finish my shift, we'll get on the road to a snowy little town and check into a hotel. We'll sled, build snowmen, eat snow, make snow angels, have a snowball fight? Maybe. Then, we'll have a nice dinner out (we've already inquired at our favorite restaurant in this town to confirm they'll be open). If we get lucky, it'll actually snow while we're there. Even if not, we can play in the snow more, until our feet are froze and our noses are froze, and head back home with 2 days of snowy fun and delicious meals in the memory banks. We're even planning to take homemade ornaments and candy canes to give to everyone working in the various places we patronize.

I'm SO very excited to head out on this winter adventure with my family. I'm also VERY excited to see what other adventures we create next year as we continue this tradition of DO instead of BUY.

If you like to see things develop as they go, you can always head over to my author IG account and follow along. I'll be posting pictures (like this first one) every step of the way.

What are you DOING this holiday season??

ING
!jen

PS
You can also see some other holiday ramblings here:
2012
2013
2013
2017

Nothing says Christmas Cheer like "clanging chimes of doom"!

Have you ever listened to the lyrics of a favorite song... I mean REALLY listened to them and realized it's not about what you thought? 

Let me preface this by saying that this really IS my favorite Xmoose song. Especially when Bare Naked Ladies sings it with beautiful harmonies. (really as far as Bare Naked Ladies is concerned, the entire album is fantastic! I highly recommend it for all your holiday gatherings)

Clanging Chimes of Doom

Many years ago, I was listening to Xmoose music and 'Do They Know It's Christmas?' came on. 

Man! The 80's were rough. Even when feeding the world they didn't look too happy about it. :)

You know? The one recorded by Band Aid in '84 to raise money for Africa relief? Now I was raised in the 80's and 90's. I've heard this song every year around this time for my ENTIRE life. 

However, it wasn't until about 7 years ago that I really listed to the words. What caught me first was the sudden realization that this song said "clanging chimes of doom". I turned to my co-worker and said "did they just say 'clanging chimes of doom'?" She gave a noncommital 'I don't know, who cares' shrug and head tilt.

I couldn't accept it. I made us listen to Xmoose music everyday all day long just so I could hear it again. No. I didn't think to look up the lyrics online... I think this was before I realized things like song lyrics WERE online. I'm computer savvy but I think my understanding of the scope of the internet may have been delayed :)  Moving on.

I heard it several times over the next few days. Each time hearing another great Christmas phrase like, 'bitter sting of tears' and 'world of dread and fear'. My next favorite part of this song was how we were SO thankful that this pitiful and obviously god-forsaken existence was happening to someone else and not you. I mean, we can send them money... and we should. But "THANK GOD it's them instead of you".

Now, through all this love and money and assistance we're sending to Africa the best part was the message of a single line: "the greatest gift they'll get this year is life". The first time I heard this line and by heard I mean really heard it, I thought, what greater gift is there? Is life not enough? I was appalled by the Music industries ability to turn a starving country into an advertisement for more presents. Now, years have gone by and I have come to understand that the line is probably referring to the fact that our monetary assistance was providing life and thus giving them the greatest gift. Unfortunately, my mind just can't let go of that initial realization. 

Now my biggest beef with this Christmas song is actually much more spiritual. So if you don't want to hear (read) it. Stop now. It's OK, I wont be offended...

K. If you're this far its cause you want to be here. Welcome.

"Do they know it's christmas time at all?"

This line posed a very spiritual Xmoose question for me those many years ago. DO they know it's christmas time? Why should they HAVE to know? What if not knowing about christmas is a perfectly happy existence for them? What if they don't care that it's christmas? Why do we have to tell them? It's a rhetorical question. I know why (southern baptists taught me why for most of my childhood)... I don't believe why but I know. I don't agree with why, but I know. So we go and bring all the money and food, just cause it's christmas time and that's when we care... what then? When christmas is over and we go back to our lives, what about Africa? I wonder what came of this campaign. Maybe one day I'll look into the statistics and numbers on the funds raised and donated by this song and how long of an impact they had on Africa at christmas... and after.

But for now. I'm content to listen to my favorite Xmoose song because it fills me with happy yule tide greetings every time I hear

"clanging chimes of doom".

ING

!jen

Santa is dead. Joy. It's that time of year again.

Yes. I told my daughter Santa was dead. But that was like 3 years ago now, so who's still fussing about it?? I'll tell you who. Adults who can't let it go.

So lets back up. I never intended to tell my daughter Santa was dead. It was not my formal plan from the beginning. I'll admit, I have very few formal plans where things like this are concerned. I prefer to let these things play out organically....Here's how 'Santa is dead' organically came to be.

When Z was 3 we were at a community event in which Santa arrives on a fire truck. As the truck drove in she was up on daddy's shoulders and asked, 'mommy, is that the real Santa?' I couldn't lie, I said 'no sweet girl.' Hoping that would be the end of it.... I know unreal hope, I know.

She asked 'where is the real Santa?' I looked at my husband, who promptly made the 'slashing across the throat' motion to tell me 'don't do it'. I threw my hands up in helplessness, turned to my daughter and said 'he's dead.' 

I know, you're about to jump in your time machine and slap 'past' me before I'm able to ruin Xmoose. But here's the thing, she took it like it was totally normal, which it is. People die all the time, some are already dead, fact of life. She asked 'then, who is that?' indicating the Santa on the truck. I told her he was one of Santa's helpers. NOW, you're wondering how a dead man can have helpers. Isn't a dead man in MOST need of helpers to carry on their work?  Santa (clause), Walt (Disney), Steve (Jobs), Jim (Henson), Abraham (Lincoln).... The list could go on, but you get it, right? Many of history's great accomplishers had posthumous assistance in carrying on their work. So it goes with Santa. We also explained to her that Santa has MANY helpers. This man on the truck, the Santa at the mall and even me and daddy, when we put your presents under the tree and you are Santa's helper. She looked at me and daddy in awe. 'I am santa's helper?' Then we had the best conversation about spreading love and kindness and that anyone who does that is one of Santa's helpers, anytime of year. The look of AWE in her eyes at the idea that we were all Santa's helpers, it was better than any wide eyed amazement at 'santa' related lies, like foot prints outside our fireplace, or bites taken out of cookies or calls on the phone to Santa himself. 

Sister Z, watching excitedly as someone ELSE opens presents, Despite knowing Santa is dead...amazing!

On the way home Z asked how Santa died. I was again, honest and said I didn't know. We talked about what we did know. He was a very kind man that lived so long ago that no one alive today, was alive with him. He loved children SO much that he used to make gifts for all the children in his village and deliver them in the middle of winter when the snow was too think for children to come out and play. He would load up his sleigh, the best way to travel over snow, and deliver the toys. By this point my husband had looked up how Saint Nicolas had died, natural causes. She asked what that meant, we explained it meant he just got so old that his body couldn't work anymore. She accepted all of this. Without fuss or doubt or confusion. Take a look at Wikipedia for a little muttled history of Santa. He comes from SO many people and cultures to a modified version of a mix of all of them. It's no wonder parents feel they need to lie. They don't know the truth either :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

This is how I used to think of Santa. Image found on FineArtAmerica

Here's the best part. None of this has dampened her awe or belief in the spirit of Xmoose. She loves Xmoose movies, Xmoose decorations, singing Xmoose carols, and shopping for presents for family and friends. Each year she becomes more aware of the importance of being kind, gentle and forgiving. Although she will play along with 'maybe Santa will bring it for Xmoose' and even talks about him in a real sense, if asked flat out, she says he's dead, he lived a long time ago and died a long time ago. 

Why am I ok with this? As a parent, don't I want to foster belief in magical things? Don't I want to foster a rich imagination? Come meet my children, their belief in magical things is fostered by our belief that ALL things are magical. Her rich imagination is fostered by our ability to 'say yes' when we play. If she wants her pet dragon to smell like strawberries and breathe bubbles and grow fur at night to keep them both warm... We say yes!

Another side note reason about being OK with it is this:

Found this image through a google search on Sorcerer's Skull.

I personally left Satan behind in my early 20's (I literally don't believe in Satan or evil for that matter, but that's a blog for another time :) and shortly after that similarities between Satan and Santa were undeniable.

1. They are both considered 'outside of God'. Satan, out rightly opposing God and Santa, simply ignored by the church and considered 'secular' and thus ungodly.

2. They are both personifications of mixed cultural influences and thus neither is true to its origin.

3. and most inspiring for my dislike of societies use of either one....They are both used to keep children in line. 'Be good or satan takes you to hell', 'be good or Santa won't bring you presents'.
How can I believe in and perpetuate a lie that is used to keep my children "good" by instilling fear?
No. I prefer that they are good because they choose to be, because we have taught them the joy of it.

But I digress...

Santa is dead, mostly because I couldn't lie to her. Think about it....telling our children there is a man and millions of elves at the North Pole, building all the toys for every child on the planet and delivering them in one night... Is a lie. Even if its justified as fostering the magic of childhood.... It's still a lie. For some kids, learning Santa isn't real is a huge turning point. For some of those kids... Learning their parents lied for so many years is even more traumatic. I will not lie to my kids. Period. About anything. Why would Santa be different? A lie is a lie. How can I teach my children not to lie, if I am not willing to live by the same? 

I can't. So I won't lie to them. This means I have many conversations that parents dread or worse postpone as long as possible. And I am convinced that having such conversations whenever my children ask means we have a more honest relationship... And a closer one. Because my children learn VERY early, that they can 1.ask me anything, 2.get an answer, and 3.my answer will be honest and true. Isn't it terrible when you hear of teenagers searching for answers about sex online and falling prey due to their ignorance? All because they didn't feel they could ask Mom or Dad. Or worse, they were brave enough to ask the awkward questions and got unsuitable lies instead of the honest truth. This will never be my children... or any child who is brave enough to ask me.

Anyway! After seeing 'Rise of the Guardians' and reading the books, the whole house sees Santa (Nicholas St. North) a little differently... its more like this now:

Found this image on Fairy Room: In Search of Krampus

'In Search of Krampus' written by Brom, has just given my house several books to add to our holiday selections... what a nice surprise while I was just looking for pictures of Santa.

So, in our house Santa is dead and we are all his helpers. People often find this disconcerting... but it works for us. It allows us to focus on the Spirit of the Season instead of the biggest present under the tree. 

Feel free to comment, I'd love to hear what your family does that others may find odd. They tend to be the most fun and meaningful traditions.

Wether you perpetuate the myth of Santa in ways I would find ethically appalling :) or you retell the story of Santa that ends with him being dead or anything in between... 

I wish you and yours the Merriest of Yuletides and the Happiest of New Years.

ING
!jen

Barnes and Noble, helping people sin :)

Barnes and Noble.

Perhaps the most ruthless bookstore in the world. My husband mentioned a few days ago that they have successfully run almost every other big chain bookstore out of business. Walden books is in like NO malls anymore. Borders? Haven't seen one of those in forever.

Does this stop us from spending our precious child free Date Nights wandering around the shelves with our coffee in hand? NOPE!

So this is the first place I go when shopping...for anyone, for anything. I had finished my parade around the store and my arms were full of exactly what I came for... nothing more. Usually I can't get out without 3 things I never knew I needed. Z and I are standing in line waiting for the next available cashier and there on the strategically placed table is a little black book that reads...

 

  Well, I didn't have a choice! I grabbed it as the cashier called me over and I placed it on the counter with my other treasures. And MAN! Am I glad I did. It is a fabulous book. It's full of suggestions on ways you can be truly selfish. Personally? I don't know if I could get through the entire year. I might be able to pull off 1-3 a month. But, no matter, because I didn't keep this book. I gave it to my good friend Sharon. She will be braver than I in implementing some of the suggestions.

Suggestions like:

I could probably bring myself to do something like this. Silly and laughed off :)

I LOVE the 'rest for the wicked' warning on these 2.

This one I loved for the list of suggested routes at the bottom :)

Other note worthy ideas were:

Attend a religious service for the snacks.
play with your childs toys.
Fake an accent for a day.
Purposely fart during a major life moment.
Pretend to be single for a day.
Pretend it's your birthday.
Eat the last cookie.
Skip work and go to the beach.
Commission a self portrait.
Slide down the banister.
Follow an ambulance through traffic.
Invent a religious holiday to get out of working.
Eat only things that contain chocolate.
Eat ice cream for breakfast.

These are the ones I could copy down before Z yelled at me because the holiday wrapping party had suddenly ceased.

So if anyone is looking to be charitable this new years (or anytime during 2013 as we accept donations all year), please don't hesitate to email me about the newly founded "Hands off my moolah" club. It's a fabulous group of me collecting money for...me.

Happy new years.
ING
!jen

Christmoose Inspiration from Holland

Stockings...I strongly dislike them. From the time I was a kid and Grandma ALWAYS filled the bottom of ours with fruit.... I have disliked them. Not that fruit is bad... its just so...ordinary.

So when I came upon the traditions of Holland and setting out wooden clogs on December 5th... I was saved. I LOVE doing this with my family. It helps break up the month by putting a little gift giving at the beginning. And although it sometimes doesn't work out for my husband to be there when the kids wake (cause it's usually a weekday) and discover their shoes we still do it.

For me, it's more about lessening the 'gimme' affect. Not that Z has that problem but i feel these traditions we have adopted or created are, in part, responsible for her lack of 'gimme'itis. By the time Christmoose (it's our new name for Christmas) comes around she has been playing with or used up entirely whatever was in her shoe on the 5th and Christmoose morning is all about what is wrapped under the tree. And this is where she is JUST as excited to see others open what SHE has wrapped as she is to unwrap her own gifts.

Plus, the shoe is ALOT smaller and easier to fill :) and lets face it stuffing stockings is a nightmare for most people.

Zephira's clog 2012.

Icarus' clog 2012.

As you can see, we still have a hard time remembering HOW small the shoes are. We get a few things and it's overflowing. Icky is the year of the rabbit. so he gets more bunny stuff than the average child :). The grey mat is actually a road rug for the hot wheels in his shoe. The road rug was one of Z's advents earlier in the month.

My husband and I have clogs as well.  bigger, cause we are bigger :) and someday (I'm thinking when Icky is 5ish, cause Z is 5 this year and I think she could do it) we will paint them. Unless we have more kids then we'll to wait for the youngest to be old enough to paint theirs.

We also got one for Elle, our fabulous niece who was born this year. This is her first christmoose and we're making sure to bombard my brother and sister in law with our ridiculous and silly traditions. Elle just may get a zombie for christmoose... :)

Happy Yule,
ING
!jen

Advent Calender? Nailed it!

I have always loved the idea of counting down the days with something other than a sharpie and a flip calender. Even if that flip calender DOES have horses on it (Z's favorite). But a little box with candies in it and perforated doors just isn't what our family is about.

A little disclaimer about Jen and the year 2012... I became addicted to Pinterest. It was accidental at first but now I'm on it ALL the time.

So I found, on pinterest, a ton of ideas for advents that were things to DO instead of things to get. Way back in November, remember November? I thought, I'll do something like this. Luckily my ipad makes whipping up things like this a breeze. I had the entire month of advents on 3 pages of business card templates and done in 2 days... and still managed to go to work and be productive.

I had to get creative as some ideas online were not conducive for CA. Like build a snowman in the front yard. I also had to be careful of the order some went in. For example: 'start Amish Friendship Bread' had to be 10 days before 'Bake Amish Friendship Bread'. And 'attend a holiday party or performance' had to be on a day that I knew of a few happening. So some took more planning and forethought than others.

But here we are at day 20 and we've only missed 1 advent and that was only because the supplies we bought were not as effective as we had hoped, live and learn.

I have had SO much fun doing advents with Z this month. some days I really didn't want to do whatever was on the card... but I didn't let myself poop out and I've been so glad every time. I hope that next year I have the resources to make an advent calender that is reusable from year to year (Z ripped open each envelope) and all we'll have to do is refill it each November.

In addition to the advents on the example page here's the rest of our list and a few I didn't get to put in or thought of too late :)

Have a tea party. (except we did a hot cocoa party.)

Make crafty ornaments (my husband and I started our ornament collection this way before we were married and now Z has added to it.)

Take a bubble bath.

Dance to loud christmoose music.

Watch a christmoose movie.

 Attend a holiday party or performance.

Cover a few windows with snow. (we bought the spray on snow from walmart)

Make a Yule log to burn on christmoose morning.

Wrap Graces presents. (grace is my sister and she lives with us)

Make and wrap something for Obichan. (Obichan is what Z calls her grandmother)

Make christmoose button art. (you know all those things on pinterest where they use buttons to make a letter for a girls room? we tried it and Z picked a moose shape, it was hard and took 3 days to finish, Z gave up after 20 min :)

Read 5 christmoose stories cause you are 5 years old. (Z was extatic to turn 5. her birthday was in July and we still have to do 5 of things regularly... cause she's 5 years old)

Stay up late and watch a movie.

Start Amish Friendship Bread.

Bake Amish Friendship Bread and gift to 3 friends.

Go see christmoose lights in the neighboorhood.

Go out to the mall and sing christmoose carols. (inspired by Buddy the Elf's 'the best way to spread christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear)

Go shopping for a daddy present.

Schedule a christmas volunteer project.

 Happy Holidays,

ING

!jen