Chores for my FIVE year old? Folding laundry....

What CAN he do??

In this day and age when parents are SO eager to get back to teaching their kids to be responsible, we find ourselves asking, HOW??

How do we know when they’re ready for chores?

How do we know which chores?

How to we start?

How do we teach?

How do we survive waiting for them to learn it properly?

How? How? How?

There are SO many cute guides to age appropriate chores. Just google 'age appropriate chores'... a step further is to search images specifically. There's a TON. Like this one:

by Heather at Sports Mom Survival Guide

But these are simply that, guides. Each child is their own person. My oldest was reading 2nd grade books as she entered 1st. My middle one is almost 5 and barely getting around to caring about the sounds letters make. So why would they be able and ready to do the same chores at the same ages?? They’re NOT. PLEASE remember, these info graphics are guidelines.

So #IcarusRex is now able to fold laundry. How do I know?? I watched him ‘fold’ blankets and napkins and saw that the manual dexterity was there. The concentration was there. The desire was there…. so I gave him a lesson. Guess what?! He was able to do it without fussing, with a certain amount of ease, and still with a bit of room for improvement. 

SO what IS our ‘laundry folding’ lesson?

Step One: 

Lay out the shirt ‘picture side’ down. I do this part during our first few tries. (I know he can do this part because he does it for getting dressed daily, but since this is a new lesson, I do the first few for him)

Step One

We place the picture side down, for 2 reasons. 

1. picture side down is how he gets dressed, it ensures the picture is on his front instead of back. 

2. we can see the picture when it's in the drawer, making choosing it easier.

Step Two:

Fold one side over to the other. (left to right or right to left, doesn’t matter)

Step Two

Step Three:

Fold arms over body of shirt. (just so the sleeves no longer stick out)

Step Three

Step Four:

Fold bottom up to cover sleeves. (create a rectangle/square)

Step Four

Folding in Action ;) 

He LOVED that he did every shirt alone. We also had a lesson on folding bottoms that day. So #IcarusRex was especially accomplished by the end of our chore. 

 

There is NO task in our day or life that can’t be broken down into manageable, age appropriate, steps. All we, as parents, need to do is think logically about the task and assess what each child is capable of. My youngest (now 2 years old), can move laundry from basket to washer to dryer to basket. LOVES to in fact. Would I expect her to fold and return the clothes to the dresser? Of course not. But SO many parents do this, or something similar. They see their child doing part of a chore and assume they can do all of that chore. Take it easy folks! 

Have fun with each stage of each child’s go at life. Through that fun… you’ll witness and observe, not only their abilities and skill but you’ll observe SO many moments, otherwise missed. 

ING

!jen

Comment below and let me know what chore you're planning to give a lesson on or loved giving a lesson on previously. OR let me know which chore you have NO IDEA how to teach effectively and I'll blog it ;) I'm all about helping you Montessori your life and lessons.

8 ways to Tame your own 'NO' monster and maybe the little monsters will follow :)

A simple guide to taking 'No' out of your homeschooling day.

This is my No monster. When I say NO, unnecessarily, I feel like I look like this... :)

The word 'No' is such an easy go to. It roles off the tongue with such simplicity. Which isn't surprising with the amount of times its simply true. 2+2=5, 'No'. The puzzle piece clearly doesn't fit, 'No'. How many bald eagles are left, according to the chart? 7, 'No'. The picture gets cut THEN colored, 'No, the instructions tell us to color then cut'. Mom, is this right? 'No'. A simple, accurate, correct answer, that just might be killing our child's sense of accomplishment, independence and confidence. I was a student once... many years ago :) I hated going to that one teacher who "always" said 'no'. Even when I had truly tried my hardest, worked through every answer twice, checked my work, and then had a friend edit it. She still said 'no', at least to SOMETHING on my paper. You remember, we all had that teacher. Some of us more frequently than others. 

Do you really want to be that teacher for your child? I'm guessing 'NO'. :) haha see what I did there :)

Anyway, In my Montessori training we did an entire project/paper on avoiding the word 'no'. It was brilliant. It forced me to think ahead to potential problems with different materials and decide on at least 3 ways to correct a child without saying 'no'. So I will attempt to offer these suggestions to you, my fellow homeschooling parents. Because even with my training and background in a Montessori classroom, my own children bring out the 'no' monster faster than I ever care to admit. 

1. Wait. The first choice is usually to simply wait. You see them heading to the wrong answer. They have placed the longest pencil in the middle instead of at the beginning where it belongs to properly grade them from longest to shortest. Wait. They have added their ones column wrong which will throw off the entire equation. Wait. Let them work it out to the end. Let them go through the steps of checking their work (make sure you have given a lesson on how to check their work in any given situation). They will come to their mistake, naturally. Without you having to be the NO moster :)

2. Show them their error in isolation. "lets check these two pencils" placing them evenly at the eraser end, "which looks longer to you?" pointing to or exaggerating the uneven ends if needed.

Pretend my red rods are pencils :)

3. Add an extra tool to ensure success. "Here's a picture of the pencils from longest to shortest. Try to make yours look like this." "How can we clean up this water mess? Yes. Thats what the sponge is for."

4. Get tactile. Hands on is the best medicine for finding mistakes. Push the pencil tips against the wall. Walk your finger up the erasers... "do they step up one at a time?" or do you find that there is one sticking out. 

5. Slow down. "This time, lets compare them two at a time until we find the shortest." Compare, and place the shortest first. Repeat for the next shortest. It takes longer, yes. AND adds a level of concentration for your child that many adults can't accomplish. 

6. Gentle reminder. "I think this pencil may be shortest." "Try to remember, we hold the pitcher with two hands, so that it's more steady when we pour."

One hand on the handle and one underneath the spout. Bet you didn't know that :) Because as multitasking adults we pour with one hand and our kids copy us.

7. Build in a 'control of error' to your lesson. This is similar to 'a way to check their work'. And must be planned on ahead of time to ensure your child's success as an independent worker. It may look something like, printing answers on the back of math equation cards, explaining that spills mean we need more practice pouring, etc.

8. Modeling. One of the biggest investments I made as a teacher into getting my students on board with behaviors I preferred, was to model said behavior. For example. You roll a rug on the floor, using your fingers for control. Not standing, while you roll it down your legs. I witnessed this phenomenon in students from other classes and would give another lesson every time. Until I walked into a class at the end of the day to pick up kids that were to join mine, only to see the teacher and assistant rolling rug down their legs cause it was the end of the day and they were too lazy to model the right way to roll a rug. What does it matter how they roll a rug? You might ask. I wont get into that now :) it's for another post entirely :) point being. These kids coming to my class were simply copying the behaviors of their own teacher. Once I realized this, I watched for other behaviors in students and found that many of the undesirable ones were actually coming from teachers who were unintentionally teaching students poor behavior choices. 

You say it before you think, 'NO', and expect it to be met with polite retorts like 'yes ma'am' or even an 'okay'. You sway backwards in disbelief when it's met with a resounding "NO!"... where did you learn to speak like that? we ask them :) If you're kids are anything like mine... they answer 'You, mommy.' thus, my daily dose of humble pie is served and I slump back to my hole in the ground.

So when the NO monster strikes at your pie hole, remember, filling it with Humble is hard to do. So fill it with kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, understanding, honesty and love. And keep at it! Once or twice isn't enough. If a pattern is to change one must live the change, if that pattern is to be passed down to our children? One must BE the change.

What ways do you avoid the NO monster??
What does YOUR No monster look like? I'm just curious :)


ING,
!jen

PS
Please don't assume that I never say NO... or that I'm suggesting you never use it. Sometimes it's completely necessary. Safety is a big place I will use it without regret or apology. The point I'm making here is times when we say it because we're too tired, or annoyed or stressed to be more kind... then it becomes unnecessary and thus could be avoided with beautiful results.

Planning ahead...

Making Work for the Shelf

the importance of 'thinking ahead' when creating jobs.

If Montessori taught me anything it was how to design materials and lessons for the preschooler. Maria Montessori believed in individual education (which is why there is only one of most materials, this also gives children the chance to practice waiting and turn taking). She also believed in breaking down skills into developmentally appropriate sections. For example: when learning to lace up a ribbon, students are required to tie a bow at the end to secure the ribbon. Tying a bow is hard. Especially for preschool fingers. So in a Montessori classroom children are introduced to the bow-tying frame first. Setting them up for success by giving a skill they will need to accomplish everything that is asked of them when lacing the ribbon. They are also introduced to the lacing skill by itself. Again, allowing them to practice everything they need to accomplish the Ribbon Lacing frame successfully, before they are suddenly expected to lace and tie a bow.

This forethought on the teachers (parents) part is the key to introducing new skills. So I thought we'd try one together to get the hang of it. 

I want to introduce 'getting dressed' to my toddler. Now in previous years when I didn't know better, I would jump straight to my lesson. I would gather 1 of each clothing I wanted them to practice and off I went.

It would have looked something like this one from Counting Coconuts. (Which, by the way is a great post to read when you're ready to have many skills being practiced at once.)
Then I'd be SO frustrated when they weren't getting it.
Now I know about 'preliminary exercises' (the bow-tying and lacing skills before the ribbon lacing which requires both). These are the things they need to know before they can successfully finish what I'm trying to teach.

So 'getting dressed'. I'm going to start with pants, shirt and jacket, in that order. Because to put on pants a child can lay it out first and is able to SEE everything they are doing the whole time. Shirt is 2nd because it is considered more difficult due to the over the head part, where you have to sort of 'feel' what your doing instead of SEE it. Jacket is last in this series for one reason. It's what you put on after a shirt. As far as difficulty is concerned I've observed it's on par with the shirt, at least the way I teach putting on a jacket. 

Next, think about putting on pants. This may seem silly but really think about it in terms of what your toddler can do physically. They can't put pants on standing up, not enough balance. So they must sit. The pants get laid out in front of them but they need to know which side of the pants goes up (front). Find a pair of pants for practicing that have a good 'front side' identifier, a picture, drawstring or extra pocket. After pants are laid out in front both hands are needed to open the waistband and slide the first foot in. This, too, is tricky because they have to pull their knee up to their chest WHILE holding the pants. Next they will need to slide the foot into the waistband. Now they must push the foot, via our leg muscles, down the pant leg. If this goes well, they're in business for leg #2. All these body movements and brain, hand, eye, foot coordination that is going on and they're only half way there!!
I feel like I must take a minute and caution anyone working with a toddler, their own or not. They are only 2. We watch them finagle a fork, run with increasing ease, even begin to jump like little dare devils and we suddenly expect them to perform every new task just as easily as things they've actually been practicing their whole lives... which lets remember, is only 2 years long :)
OK, back to pants. Now that we've REALLY given thought to the entire process of putting on a pair of pants, we're not only ready to give a lesson but we're also ready to have more patience with that lesson because we truly understand what our toddler is overcoming to achieve this skill.
So my 'putting on pants' lesson goes something like this;

These pictures would be taped to a tray in order of their place in the process. The shorts would then be folded in a basket on the tray as well. The 'directions' would be non verbal...as it helps children focus their awareness.

1. place the shorts at your feet with the 'front side identifier' clearly displayed. In this case we actually had a tag. So we say 'Tag on the floor'. 

2. Thumbs on the sides and inside. Toes go in.

3. Push foot all the way out the bottom end.

4. Other foot, toes in and push foot all the way out the bottom end. Don't drop the waistband :)

5. Stand and pull them up. Keep your thumbs on the sides and inside the waistband.

6. All the way up.

7. DONE!

I hope you are able to use this to inspire independence in your classroom :)

Happy Dressing!

ING

!jen