HWK changed my life... true story.

It stands for Hiking With Keiki.
Keiki is Hawaiian for 'child(ren)' and is used for both singular and plural.

OK, that's out of the way. But what is it and how did it change my life??

Hiking with Keiki is a facebook group that my dear friend Elsbeth introduced me to when she learned that my "church" was being outside. They are a group of volunteers who plan, recon, schedule, lead and share hikes all over the island of Oahu. If you want to get out but are unsure of how or where or are afraid of getting lost alone.... HWK is the best resource I can recommend on island, you DO need to be on island or heading there soon to be added, this helps ensure our members are active. HWK was started by Chelsey and Kati as a way for them to heal through the pain of post-partom depression, general depression and the loss of suicide. A way to share the adventures of life with friends and family in hopes those experiences and connections help someone through their struggle and healing.

Sounds like Hope to me. These are MY kind of people! I started joining several hikes a week. Before I knew it I was leading them too. These ladies have helped me see SO much more of this island than I ever would have.

Would we still have hiked? Of course. Still gone to different beaches? Yes. Would it have been as easy? NOPE. Would it have been as frequent? NOPE. Would it have been as fulfilling? No.

Hawaii, is the first place in our 10 years of Navy life, that I have had a bigger community than my husband. Think about it. We move somewhere new, he gets an instant group of people that at least have a few things in common with him just by showing up to the ship. Me and the kids? We have to go out and FIND our place, our friends, our shenanigans....

HWK helped me and my kids find our place, our friends and OH! The shenanigans.

#LunaScout and I walking the end of Likeke Falls as we arrive back at the car.

So! I'm gunna blog about each of the hikes we've done with HWK. First Up!??

Likeke Falls

: not to be confused with likelike falls, which is non existent ;) people often get the free way (likelike) mixed up with the trail to the falls (Likeke), it's totally understandable, they're VERY close in name... but now you know and that is half the battle ;)

Once you are a member of HWK, you can find info about every trail they hike to, what ages are best, terrain, driving and parking directions... everything! Really guys! Are you tired of reading how HWK is Amaz-Ballz?? Well, too bad. Cause they are. 

I'm going to attempt my very own trail guide for Likeke Falls (from the golf course). 

First!! Prep.

Stuff to bring:

water

snacks

BUG spray, trust me on this one!

towels (to leave in the car)
wear shoes you don't mind getting muddy and then throwing in the wash. I wear my rain boots and just rinse them off when we get home. 

extra shoes (we always take flip flops as we hike this muddy trail in rain boots, and like to change before heading to lunch)

We park at Ko'Olau Golf Course (45-550 Kionaole Rd, Kaneohe, HI 96744). I do NOT suggest going on sunday. The golf course is home to a church. On sunday all parking is for patrons there of. You can still hike but you have to park WAY down the road and walk in. We did that ONCE. Cause we were SO excited to adventure with our friends that we didn't care. That particular day Lacy introduced us to Cinnamon's! A MUST visit restaurant on the windward side of the island. And maybe the topic of another post ;) we'll see. 

Alright: Park at the golf course. Check. Don't park close to the building, park at the end of the lot where the road is blocked to cars by several hanging chains. I know this sounds 'trespassy' but once you see it, it's not :)

Those hanging chains mark the beginning of the trail. Step, over, under, or around them and follow the road to the water tower. Feel free to stop and take a picture, we usually do.

The water tower.

The trail turns left here... so going to and then behind the tower to find the trail will not help you.  

After turning left, follow, follow, follow the trail. It will soon turn into a 'rocky road' as my five year old puts it. This is how you know it's time to start looking for the last turn. On the right, there is a GIANT tree with lots of graffiti and carvings, step down off the 'rocky road' by that tree, and follow that trail. 

>>>>>Special Tip: if you don't turn at the giant tree, the trail heads up to Pali lookout. You can keep going to the lookout instead of turn to the falls, OR you can do this water fall hike from the lookout, but we have yet to do that as of this writing. 

You've turned at the giant tree, and now you just follow a bit more and listen for the falls. 

Once there, you will usually see 2 pools. The waterfall is not HUGE by Hawaii standards. And it still never ceases to amaze me. Looking to the top, water falls down in a wide spray across a giant rock exposed in the mountain, into the first pool. It's the largest of the two pools, neither of which are large enough for swimming or diving. Just big enough for splashing kids. From the first pool, water falls down into the second and smaller pool. My toddler jumped and played in the smaller pool the last time we went. And that was JUST after Darby's near miss of Oahu, so rain shed had made all the falls and natural pools explode with water. 

Play here. Let the kids get soaked! Let them try to "slide" down the smaller waterfall. I've seen a few who've tried with shenanigans type results, including a stuffed penguin that loved his 2 or 3 trips down the fall ;)

>>>>>Special Tip: as you stand in the smaller pool and look at the falls, turn around. You will see the creek fork in front of you. The little patch of earth with the tree and bushes where the creek meets the pool? Climb up there. Go around the bushes for a pretty nice view of the city. No one ever looks over there and they miss a sweet little view on a clear day.

Once everyone is soaked and has had a snack (we usually eat before getting wet cause soggy fingers don't hold sandwiches very well), then you head back. Don't forget! Going back: the Turn Here tree means go left, and once you see the water tower, go right, walking away from it.

I hope you have many fun adventures on this trail!

Comment below and tell me your favorite Likeke Falls memory, or tell me about a water fall hike you LOVE.

ING
!jen

The Dream of Tiny Living

In our effort to raise more socially aware children in hopes they will be global citizens who make choices for the betterment of all… we have started the journey to tiny living. Is it a necessary component to making the next generation better than us? No. Of course not. It’s just the path we’ve chosen to facilitate that future in the strongest way we see. 

The logic behind it is this:

Stuff wants more stuff.

Buying more stuff means less money for experiences.

Experiences (in daily life but also global travel and immersion), is how we truly learn to be better humans.

Experiences behind a screen (if too frequent or prolonged) make my kids NUTS!

So if we limit stuff (to necessities and a few special things) and we limit ‘boob tube’ moments, we increase our ability to afford more adventure and the (screen free) time to do so.

So I began first looking for ways to simplify what we have, organize it into manageable piles, contain it somehow.

http://www.clutterclearingchoices.com/id2.html

http://extension.illinois.edu/clutter/ahome.html

I quickly found it wasn’t enough. I needed to purge with reckless abandon. And I do, regularly. 

http://www.december.com/simple/live/purgestuff.html

https://www.onekingslane.com/live-love-home/marie-kondo-book-declutter/

I especially like this one. I started the method (on instinct, we'll call it ;) without knowing and now need to read the book. 

I started with my closet. I revisited my closet every month or so for the last six months. With my closet in constant flux of purge, I started throwing out toys that were left in places they didn’t belong. I warned the kids first… in case you’re thinking that I’m the heartless mom ;) And even still I will through away things that I know they don’t care about or need, the rest I will try to assist them in remembering to clean it up. Or I may take it, hide it away and then 3 days later, when they go looking for it… say ‘Oh, that was left out so I threw it away.’ This seems like a mean trick, I know. But hear me out. If they respond with sadness or even justified anger at having lost something dear to them, I’ll return it with a conversation about cleaning up what we care about. Many times though? They don’t even bat an eye. So I toss it. I just did the second to final purge on my closet (the final purge being when we leave the island and I toss my million flip flops, swimsuits, and few other things that are only used daily in Hawaii). 

We have a move coming up. I’m using it as a ‘fresh start’ kind of thing for everything else we own. Anything not completely joyous to us, stays here (sold, given away, donated, etc.). This includes, our hodge podge collection of plates, the million old pillow cases that no longer have matching (or even coordinating) sheets, old wash clothes that we’ve kept as ‘car washing’ clothes… seriously, there’s a ton of them! We DON’T wash our cars that much ;) 

As we saw the amount of stuff we can leave behind without batting an eye, and coupled that with a TON of research and brilliant options and solutions for minimalistic living, we naturally ended up at tiny houses. Now, that’s just what we’re planning to DO next.

What else are we planning to leave? Guest furniture… any furniture actually, that we’re not FULLY in LOVE with. And?! Two pieces we ARE in LOVE with but know our tiny house will not have room for simply because they are SO ginormous. We had to be realistic when we realized that we do NOT want to be stuck buying a house that’s too big for us simply because it needs to fit a bookshelf. We may even leave it ALL here. We're contemplating moving into the RV before retirement, using the last few years in service to prep, upgrade and learn the RV life. 

Right now we live in a 5 bedroom… mansion. It’s just over 2,000 square feet spread over two stories, in the main house. Yes. You read that correctly, main house. We also have an Ohana Hale attached to our garage. It’s just a room with bathroom and closet, no kitchen. But it’s another 200 sqft. Don't believe me? We're in the process of selling it to prepare for leaving the island... check it out. And please! Let me know if you wanna buy it ;) Cause, while I may think it's ridiculously big... someone, somewhere wants or even needs this much space ;) 

www.zillow.com

For the record, we bought a giant house because when we moved in we had extended family living with us and it was nice for a time that everyone had their own space. We now know that we could have easily gotten away with half the square footage and taken our “own space” in trips and excursions. We’ve also since realized the power of a bed as being a private space. It’s all about how you use it and how you organize it. 

http://www.suitcasesandsippycups.com/2012/09/creating-privacy-in-an-rv-or-camper-tips-for-long-term-travel.html

This blog post gives GREAT ideas on privacy!

http://letsrv.com/yes-you-can-create-personal-space-in-an-rv/

And this fabulous post written by a 12 year old rv'ing, roadschooler!

I truely marvel at what people are able to do with such minimal space. Wish us luck!

ING

!jen

Chores for my FIVE year old? Folding laundry....

What CAN he do??

In this day and age when parents are SO eager to get back to teaching their kids to be responsible, we find ourselves asking, HOW??

How do we know when they’re ready for chores?

How do we know which chores?

How to we start?

How do we teach?

How do we survive waiting for them to learn it properly?

How? How? How?

There are SO many cute guides to age appropriate chores. Just google 'age appropriate chores'... a step further is to search images specifically. There's a TON. Like this one:

by Heather at Sports Mom Survival Guide

But these are simply that, guides. Each child is their own person. My oldest was reading 2nd grade books as she entered 1st. My middle one is almost 5 and barely getting around to caring about the sounds letters make. So why would they be able and ready to do the same chores at the same ages?? They’re NOT. PLEASE remember, these info graphics are guidelines.

So #IcarusRex is now able to fold laundry. How do I know?? I watched him ‘fold’ blankets and napkins and saw that the manual dexterity was there. The concentration was there. The desire was there…. so I gave him a lesson. Guess what?! He was able to do it without fussing, with a certain amount of ease, and still with a bit of room for improvement. 

SO what IS our ‘laundry folding’ lesson?

Step One: 

Lay out the shirt ‘picture side’ down. I do this part during our first few tries. (I know he can do this part because he does it for getting dressed daily, but since this is a new lesson, I do the first few for him)

Step One

We place the picture side down, for 2 reasons. 

1. picture side down is how he gets dressed, it ensures the picture is on his front instead of back. 

2. we can see the picture when it's in the drawer, making choosing it easier.

Step Two:

Fold one side over to the other. (left to right or right to left, doesn’t matter)

Step Two

Step Three:

Fold arms over body of shirt. (just so the sleeves no longer stick out)

Step Three

Step Four:

Fold bottom up to cover sleeves. (create a rectangle/square)

Step Four

Folding in Action ;) 

He LOVED that he did every shirt alone. We also had a lesson on folding bottoms that day. So #IcarusRex was especially accomplished by the end of our chore. 

 

There is NO task in our day or life that can’t be broken down into manageable, age appropriate, steps. All we, as parents, need to do is think logically about the task and assess what each child is capable of. My youngest (now 2 years old), can move laundry from basket to washer to dryer to basket. LOVES to in fact. Would I expect her to fold and return the clothes to the dresser? Of course not. But SO many parents do this, or something similar. They see their child doing part of a chore and assume they can do all of that chore. Take it easy folks! 

Have fun with each stage of each child’s go at life. Through that fun… you’ll witness and observe, not only their abilities and skill but you’ll observe SO many moments, otherwise missed. 

ING

!jen

Comment below and let me know what chore you're planning to give a lesson on or loved giving a lesson on previously. OR let me know which chore you have NO IDEA how to teach effectively and I'll blog it ;) I'm all about helping you Montessori your life and lessons.

Scholastic News at Home

Scholastic News at Home

I’m Homeschooling…. Now What??

Our journey to and through homeschooling has been quite, well, Tumultuous. My oldest just turned nine, in public school, she’d be starting 4th grade in August. Here at home? She’s reading at a 6th grade level, playing with numbers on lots of levels in many operations and still counting on her fingers at times. Her little brother will be five next week and we’ve been officially doing preschool at home since he was 2. He LOVES to listen to audio books (another blog on this later), counts about average for his age, and until recently, couldn’t care less about the sounds letters made. My youngest will be two next month, is already counting quantity to 5 and loves to practice letter sounds. These are simply facts. I care much more about their personality, kindness, compassion, daily living skills and willingness to help others. Even with academics not being MY priority… as I follow my children, academics happen and I roll with them. 

Such was the case with Scholastic News.

In our first year, I was SO torn over not being able to offer my daughter the full scope of Montessori materials for her age that I started her in a Montessori Homeschool Co-op. It was a beautiful blessing! Her teachers were right after my own (Montessori) heart and they were fabulous, beautiful people. They offered a subscription for Scholastic News. It was like $8 for the year, so why would I NOT?? Scholastic News started coming home with her. She’d read a bit on the way home and then pile them in her room. After a few months we had a ginormous stack and I couldn’t bring myself to just toss them. So we read a few together and I saw how AMAZING they were. 

As far as I can tell, you order them in ‘class’ amounts. So maybe I’ll have to get a group of homeschoolers together when we move to keep this going ;)

Anyway, they had a predicable format, quizzes at the end for comprehension, and links for videos online to further knowledge.  

Front covers with great images really catch her attention. even in subjects I wouldn't think she's care about.

Fun short stories to get her thinking, interested and engaged.

So I, being the tech savvy, Montessorian that I am, saw opportunity. I looked over a few scholastics and created a worksheet for my daughter to fill out while/after reading each one. 

Click 

on 

the 

picture 

to 

download 

it 

for 

FREE! 

:) 

She did these intermittently for a while. As part of lots of different options to her school day. Now, she does them as her ‘days work’ when we have a co-op event, field trip, or other learning opportunity that takes us out of the house for most of the day. She’ll do her Scholastic news before we leave or after we get back. 

It’s easy to see when our kids encounter things they love. It’s also easy to see when those things are helping develop their ‘thinking brains’, as we say in our house. But it’s not always easy to see how we, as parents, can help them take it a step further. 

I’ll eventually blog on a few other things; ‘games’, that we’ve incorporated into our homeschool routine at different points over the past few years. Oh, and side note? On non-outing days she’s currently working through a self guided workbook that she loves. So Scholastic News is not the only thing we’re doing right now. We live an eclectic life and thus our schooling has the same philosophy.

ING

!jen

30 Days Thankful...

Hello, my name is Jen... and I'm a Thankful-Aholic.

Many years ago I was a very "Grass is greener on the other side" type person. It was a hard life. Always questioning my choices and decisions, constantly comparing myself to those around me thinking "What. A. Life." Feeling way more like Brak watching Butch the gorilla, then I ever care to admit. Spending many days thinking to myself, if only I could get this job or move to that town or live in this house.

Then HE came along :) my husband. Without meaning to he changed me into a 'live in the moment', 'thankful for everything' person who didn't compare herself to everyone she met. Do I still have bad days? Yes. Do I find myself wishing the grass was greener on my side of the fence? Nope. Not anymore. The Grass is Greener Right Where I Am.

While in conversation with my husband many years ago, I realized in a moment of clarity that THIS was my life lesson. The reason I was born into this life and not another. To learn that the Grass is greener, RIGHT where I am. Then he drew me a tattoo to remember my life lesson. I went to a few different artists to get estimates on the cost of placing it on my ankle. One even said he would only do it if he could lock me in the basement for a week... to make sure it healed properly ;)

I said no thank you and moved on. We walked into a little shop in Racine, WI. Stephanie took one look at my husbands drawing and said "Oh I see, the grass is greener right here." SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY..... I screamed, I'm pretty sure the internet was listening that day, because now my exclamation is everywhere. :)

I got my tattoo, without spending a week in a strangers basement and could not be happier. It's a daily reminder to, not only be thankful, but enjoy every moment. To enjoy you must begin with Thankful. Thankful for people. Thankful for food. Thankful for sun and moon and wind. Thankful for laughter. Thankful for pleasure. Thankful for ocean and boat. Thankful for house and hearth. Thankful for parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Thankful for moments in which my children make me laugh when I want to scream... Thankful.

In honor of my Grass-Is-Greener-Right-Where-I-Am tattoo and my 'Addiction to Thankful' living, I've created, the 30 Days Thankful Photo Challenge.

I thought November was appropriate. I'll be posting my images in my FB album and on Instagram.

ING
!jen

8 ways to Tame your own 'NO' monster and maybe the little monsters will follow :)

A simple guide to taking 'No' out of your homeschooling day.

This is my No monster. When I say NO, unnecessarily, I feel like I look like this... :)

The word 'No' is such an easy go to. It roles off the tongue with such simplicity. Which isn't surprising with the amount of times its simply true. 2+2=5, 'No'. The puzzle piece clearly doesn't fit, 'No'. How many bald eagles are left, according to the chart? 7, 'No'. The picture gets cut THEN colored, 'No, the instructions tell us to color then cut'. Mom, is this right? 'No'. A simple, accurate, correct answer, that just might be killing our child's sense of accomplishment, independence and confidence. I was a student once... many years ago :) I hated going to that one teacher who "always" said 'no'. Even when I had truly tried my hardest, worked through every answer twice, checked my work, and then had a friend edit it. She still said 'no', at least to SOMETHING on my paper. You remember, we all had that teacher. Some of us more frequently than others. 

Do you really want to be that teacher for your child? I'm guessing 'NO'. :) haha see what I did there :)

Anyway, In my Montessori training we did an entire project/paper on avoiding the word 'no'. It was brilliant. It forced me to think ahead to potential problems with different materials and decide on at least 3 ways to correct a child without saying 'no'. So I will attempt to offer these suggestions to you, my fellow homeschooling parents. Because even with my training and background in a Montessori classroom, my own children bring out the 'no' monster faster than I ever care to admit. 

1. Wait. The first choice is usually to simply wait. You see them heading to the wrong answer. They have placed the longest pencil in the middle instead of at the beginning where it belongs to properly grade them from longest to shortest. Wait. They have added their ones column wrong which will throw off the entire equation. Wait. Let them work it out to the end. Let them go through the steps of checking their work (make sure you have given a lesson on how to check their work in any given situation). They will come to their mistake, naturally. Without you having to be the NO moster :)

2. Show them their error in isolation. "lets check these two pencils" placing them evenly at the eraser end, "which looks longer to you?" pointing to or exaggerating the uneven ends if needed.

Pretend my red rods are pencils :)

3. Add an extra tool to ensure success. "Here's a picture of the pencils from longest to shortest. Try to make yours look like this." "How can we clean up this water mess? Yes. Thats what the sponge is for."

4. Get tactile. Hands on is the best medicine for finding mistakes. Push the pencil tips against the wall. Walk your finger up the erasers... "do they step up one at a time?" or do you find that there is one sticking out. 

5. Slow down. "This time, lets compare them two at a time until we find the shortest." Compare, and place the shortest first. Repeat for the next shortest. It takes longer, yes. AND adds a level of concentration for your child that many adults can't accomplish. 

6. Gentle reminder. "I think this pencil may be shortest." "Try to remember, we hold the pitcher with two hands, so that it's more steady when we pour."

One hand on the handle and one underneath the spout. Bet you didn't know that :) Because as multitasking adults we pour with one hand and our kids copy us.

7. Build in a 'control of error' to your lesson. This is similar to 'a way to check their work'. And must be planned on ahead of time to ensure your child's success as an independent worker. It may look something like, printing answers on the back of math equation cards, explaining that spills mean we need more practice pouring, etc.

8. Modeling. One of the biggest investments I made as a teacher into getting my students on board with behaviors I preferred, was to model said behavior. For example. You roll a rug on the floor, using your fingers for control. Not standing, while you roll it down your legs. I witnessed this phenomenon in students from other classes and would give another lesson every time. Until I walked into a class at the end of the day to pick up kids that were to join mine, only to see the teacher and assistant rolling rug down their legs cause it was the end of the day and they were too lazy to model the right way to roll a rug. What does it matter how they roll a rug? You might ask. I wont get into that now :) it's for another post entirely :) point being. These kids coming to my class were simply copying the behaviors of their own teacher. Once I realized this, I watched for other behaviors in students and found that many of the undesirable ones were actually coming from teachers who were unintentionally teaching students poor behavior choices. 

You say it before you think, 'NO', and expect it to be met with polite retorts like 'yes ma'am' or even an 'okay'. You sway backwards in disbelief when it's met with a resounding "NO!"... where did you learn to speak like that? we ask them :) If you're kids are anything like mine... they answer 'You, mommy.' thus, my daily dose of humble pie is served and I slump back to my hole in the ground.

So when the NO monster strikes at your pie hole, remember, filling it with Humble is hard to do. So fill it with kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, understanding, honesty and love. And keep at it! Once or twice isn't enough. If a pattern is to change one must live the change, if that pattern is to be passed down to our children? One must BE the change.

What ways do you avoid the NO monster??
What does YOUR No monster look like? I'm just curious :)


ING,
!jen

PS
Please don't assume that I never say NO... or that I'm suggesting you never use it. Sometimes it's completely necessary. Safety is a big place I will use it without regret or apology. The point I'm making here is times when we say it because we're too tired, or annoyed or stressed to be more kind... then it becomes unnecessary and thus could be avoided with beautiful results.

17% - 20% End in Miscarriage!

17-20 %!! Did you know that? This 'common knowledge' was spouted off to me in an attempt to be comforting as I tried to make sense of my body ejecting this baby so soon after making it. 17-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage (defined as prior to 20 weeks, so that's not even including the still births and infant deaths)...

17% - 20%

If asked prior to this experience I would have guessed less than 5%. I would have been wrong. And now my body had dumped me and my baby into that 20%. How could I even begin to heal? How could I trust my body to get it right next time? How could I put my husband and family through it again? I choose taking action. I gave my baby a funeral. It was the closure I needed to find Peace. I decorate my alter every September to honor the child I never met and more importantly, to honor the family they helped to create. 

The english language has no single word for an unborn child. Science calls it an embryo, a fetus, still birth, spontaneous abortion, fetal demise. I believe these diminish it’s impact on our lives. I was 27 when I miscarried, it still impacts my life in many ways. I have since had 3 healthy full term pregnancies resulting in 3 beautiful children. A blessing never lost on me, never taken for granted and ritualistically appreciated daily. When I lost my first pregnancy I was overseas, in Japan. A military wife, far from home, friends and family. I spoke to family on the phone, chatted with local acquaintances I had made since arriving, and was fortunate enough to have my husband there, through the whole thing.

None of this made it easier. My body had rejected a baby. A baby we wanted! A baby we planned for. A baby that we had already told everyone about. And my body said ‘nope, not happening’. 

Although English couldn't assist me with my healing, the Japanese had a word for my baby, Mizuko. An unborn baby. Simple. Direct. And comforting. Mizuko. 

Now Mizuko comes to life through brave women and families ready and willing to share their stories. Because through sharing, we learn, we connect, and we heal.

How do you remember your Mizuko? How did you come to peace with your Mizuko? Share your story by booking a session and participating in the Mizuko Project.

All alone, those years ago, I chose taking action. Gave my baby a funeral. It was the closure I needed to find Peace. And now, I take action again. To assist others in finding Peace.

I hope you are find

ING Peace,

!jen