Worm Loves Worm... an emotional roller coaster.

Never has a single book given me such a roller coaster of emotions.

Worm Loves Worm by J.J.Austrian, illustrated by Mike Curato

I can’t even begin to explain how this book had me flipping and flopping at the turn of every page. Let me try.

First, my daughter picked it up. As a general rule, I try to read everything she brings me… only saying no to the truly bad books. Ya, know. The ones that, literally, hurt your feelings as you read them or worse, make you dumber as a human being.

I have to say, that with FEW exceptions… books were characters are ‘named’ as their species, have, in my experience, been high on the list of books that hurt my very soul to read them. So ‘Worm Loves Worm’ was instantly low on my list of exciting things for my daughter to bring me.

But when she wants to read it… we suck up our feelings and read it. Even if it hurts. So we opened the book.

Spoiler Alert!

Worm marries worm… I just wanted to make that clear. Not only are they in love… they marry.

So, as they discuss getting married, other creatures impose their ideas on what a wedding includes. These impositions include, a minister, a best beetle, and brides bees. Then a cake, rings and a band. 

‘Oh great.’ I think to myself, another book about how a marriage isn’t real unless you have a “traditional” wedding. Am I reading too much into a picture book… No. No, I’m not.  

But, she’s loving it so I read on. I did appreciate Worm and Worm retorting each suggestion with perfectly valid reasons they didn’t need those things. They don’t need rings, they have no fingers. They don’t need a band, they have no feet for dancing. I also began to appreciate Worm and Worm for remaining optimistic and finding ways to incorporate these things they don’t really need and having such a positive attitude. 

Even still, after several pages of this, I’m getting annoyed with their acceptance of every demand made by their friends. Then, the final straw for me? Wedding attire. As someone who married her high school sweetheart almost 10 years after graduation, at a park, wearing jeans… I almost put the book down when everyone suggested they needed a dress and tux.

Now, if you’re reading this book along with your kid… or along with this post. Don’t close it just yet. I promise. 

Keep going.

Because, Worm and Worm finally stand up for themselves, completely. They each wear part of a dress and part of a tux… rendering them each completely unisex. Gender Neutral? Equal. 

“We can be both.” they declare. Even after Cricket tries to shoot that down, their response is perfect… and I’m sold.

Worm and Worm are now married. I retrace my emotional roller coaster to snap these pictures for this lovely post and I realize… the worm with the white in it’s eyes… never speaks! It’s always the worm with only pupils, who’s mouth is open, talking. 

Now, what started as a book that was surely going to hurt my feelings to read. Turned into a great book on gender equality, using a wedding, the most UNequal gender event (possibly)…. but then turned into a dark book about abusive relationships. (and don’t even get me started on the cannibalism, I’m looking at you spider)

FRIENDS! If you’re in a relationship that denies you a say in how your life turns out, PLEASE! Get help. Just because Worm was preaching equality in the wedding does not mean they were practicing it in the relationship. Lesson learned!

Nothing is ever as it seems… not even Worm Loves Worm.

ING

!jen

Teaching Letters... a beginners assistant.

Your little baby is finally interested in learning letters... you're so excited because you've dreamt about reading books together since before they were born. There's just one problem...

You have NO idea how to teach letters!

No worries. I've got you. Today we start a series on learning letters and reading.

Ok. Great Jen, but where do I start?

At the beginning, of course. ;)

First lets chat about the single most unknown reality for teaching kids to read.

Teaching them the names of the letter (aka, the alphabet) is literally useless to reading. It will be helpful when spelling tricky words later or when spelling a word that someone is dictating (meaning that they say, how Do you spell antidisestabishmentarianism? and you spell it out for them to write as you go). But for now?? Leave it behind.

What really helps?

Learning the SOUNDS the letters make. Think about this. When you sound out a word, you use the sounds each letter makes. Some are convenient and sound similar to their name... K, D, P. But what about W? How many times have I, as a preschool teacher, had to break a kid of thinking that W makes the 'd' sound? TOO many. And mostly from those moms who assure me he knows ALL his letters. But I digress.

Lets have a mini lesson, shall we? 

Letter sounds for the teacher or parent unsure of how to teach them. 

Now that you know what sounds each letter makes... you can teach your child. So you sit down to start and ask yourself 'But isn't 26 letters a little overwhelming?'

Indeed it is!
The reading program I use, The California Phonetic Reading Program, breaks down the alphabet into the order they are used in the reading materials. So as children are learning the alphabet, they are also learning to build words and read.
They don't have to learn ALL the letter sounds to start reading.

So what order ARE we teaching these letter sounds?
Set 1. c m s t r a
(this is what almost every Montessori school will teach first, as you can build several words with just these few letters)
Set 2. h p f n b
Set 3. l j d v g
Set 4. w x e y k
Set 5. i z o u

Did you notice that most of the vowels are at the end? That's on purpose beause as you add consonants, your child can spell SO many simple words with just 'a' in the middle. While they are still learning letter sounds, it's important to set them up for success by letting them REALLY build on their ability to hear the letter sounds. Keeping the middle letter the same for SO long (a), they can really learn to hear all the different sounds our letters make.

Students in my class get to take home word lists as they master word building and reading those words. They get to 'read' these lists to mom and dad and everyone gets to celebrate their accomplishment. They will take home 7 (seven) of these lists before they get to the letter 'e', which is the second vowel.

I have purchased materials on Etsy and requested that these letter groups be followed. That's how committed I am to adhering to these letter groupings.

Now you have a better understanding of where to start. Whatever materials you decide on, break them up into smaller letter groups and don't be afraid to ask for a customized product if you're purchasing from a small business instead of a box set. If you do go with a box set, just be sure you can break them up.

And really, even if you don't use the order I have listed, thats ok. The REAL take away is letter SOUNDS instead of letter 'names' and breaking the alphabet down into smaller, more manageable groups, so that no one (mom included) gets frustrated or overwhelmed when it's time to practice letters or reading.

Learning to read should be fun. For both of you.
Be sure to check back for further lessons on Teaching Letters and Reading.

ING
!jen

Homeschool Weirdos! Yep, we have those.

Homeschoolers are weird. This is probably the most common phrase regarding our lifestyle choice and it's also the most common UNtruth. But don't take my word for it, see it for yourself. 

The kids and I have been talking about what we'll do in June when they finish their experiment public school year, all the things we'll do over the summer and what our schooling will look like next year as we look forward to retirement from the Navy. One of the things they decided was joining the ranks of YouTubers. Not wanting to wait until school was out, they decided to start making video's now.

They wanted to let people know what homeschoolers get to do all day. How we learn by doing and exploring and experiencing the world. 

We started as fairly regular homeschoolers with a very Montessori flair. I'm certified in the Montessori method and have years of education experience so I knew just what to do when we started this 'homeschooling' thing. 

Famous last words.

Each year we continued homeschooling, following our kids to what they wanted to learn and love (as Montessori does), I realized that we are way more UNschoolers than anything else. 

We learn about whales by going to the coast and whale watching after a bit of library research. We explored building and mathematics and following instructions at Lego School. We learned about the rainforest by hiking in it and seeing it first hand. 

These are the experiences that my children thrive in and beg for. So when they said they wanted to start making YouTube videos... you bet I was on board.

They made a list of ten different episode ideas, then gave each episode a list of materials it might need. We sat down and gave each episode a 'budget' and discussed using it wisely. We talked about making videos with no cost to save up for a video with more materials. 

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Yeah, it's 'school'. 

Each episode requires such planning and organization, when I involve them in it, they learn. Learn by doing and being responsible and planning and even editing.

Yes, you read that right. 

#WestWind is the editor. I record them (like, I actually push the record button... go me!). We decided this would be best, as them watching themselves in selfie mode would just be disastrous. Then I upload the clips and she takes over in iMovie. 

She LOVES it. After working all day at school, asking to edit is the first request when she gets home. If there aren't episodes to edit, she is actually sad. She has learned about royalty free music and where to obtain it. She has leaned about cutting out 'dead air' and watching for when her brother might feel the need to scratch himself (ahhhh), so she can cut that out too. No one wants to see it ;)

The aforementioned brother? #FlyBoy is a natural in timing and poise. He knows just how to move the video along and sign off when everything is done. The youngest? #MoonSeeker is just an adorable addition for now. But don't you worry! She's working on her own segments too, you'll see. 

Do you have weird homeschoolers? 

What are they doing lately?

How are they learning and loving it?

ING

!jen

Stop helping your kid!

My daughter screams in frustration from the bedroom. It's first thing in the morning and she's getting dressed. She has gotten her head through the hole of her shirt but can't find the arm hole. Or she has pulled the sock around her toes but can't get it to slide up. I know this because it's the same every morning.

"You ok?" I ask from the mirror in the bathroom.
"Yes" she answers through her fussing voice.
Now, I'm positive that she is not ok. She has been fussing over the shirt for more than 5 minutes. She has actually cried.
I have, however, learned from daily experience of this scenario with her that 'yes' actually means 'I want to do it myself' (in some cases she actually answers 'no. but I want to do it myself'). This is ok with me. After she fusses and whines about the shirt, she'll find the sleeve, get her arm in and repeat the process with her pants. She'll fuss, cry and maybe even scream. I'll offer encouragement. I'll offer her assistance. I'll remind her to take a deep breath. I will NOT go into the room and shove her arm into the sleeve, or her leg into the pants, or her foot into the sock.
You may be upset with me by now. Why wouldn't I go in there and help my child? You might be thinking what a poor little girl I have, to be ditched when she needs me most every morning.

Sure. You can think that. It really doesn't bother me.
But if you'd like to keep reading, you'll learn it's SO much more. You see,
Montessori taught me that helping child who can do a task on their own, is actually hindering them more than it is helping them. When I interfere with tasks they want to do (and are capable of, albeit at a different pace or rhythm than me)...





1. I'm stripping them of a great sense of accomplishment.
2. I'm preventing learning from their own mistakes.
3. I'm telling them they CAN'T do it.
4. I'm teaching them DEpendence instead of INdependence.
5. I'm saying, I'm better because I'm older, wiser, more coordinated, etc.
6. I'm saying, You're little and thus inferior.
7. I'm making it clear that I don't trust that they can do this... or worse! I don't trust their confidence to do this.

The list could go on, I'm sure. But you get it.
MoonSeeker is 3 1/2 and she knows full well which tasks she can do and which she needs help with. I trust her to make these choices. She knows when she wants to try something challenging, like pouring the milk from the gallon jug or the cereal from the bin we use. I know these are new for her so I stay near by or I even stop and give her a proper lesson, depending on the new task she has chosen.

I'm not about to tell her she can't accomplish these things by my action of doing it for her. I'm not about to deny her the pride of a job well done just because I want it done faster. 9 times out of 10? she totally gets it done. Did she take the long way? Yes. Did she fuss? Yes. Did she cry? Maybe. Did I fight the urge to take the vest and zip it up myself?! Yes. Yes, I did.




Some days, she can get all the tasks done with no fussing. Other days are tougher. Just like adults. Good days. Rough days. Most days, we have the time to allow for her to take things at her own pace. This is the single most effective addition to our days and ensuring it runs smoothly once we're out the door. But is it every day? Of course not.

Are there days when we're late and I literally don't have time to wait for her? YES! And on those days. I explain it to her. (this is another area that parents feel some weird opposition to). Would you explain to your partner that you woke up late and could he make the lunches to help you? Yes. Would you explain to your visiting mother that you mixed up the times and must leave in 20 minutes to make it to your meeting? Yes. So when she sees you running frantically to get ready, she helps or at least gets out of the way. The same courtesy should be extended to your kids. If you explain your stressful situation to them, you'll be surprised how far they rise to the occasion. I started this years ago when my husband's ship was underway and I needed them to understand all the things I was thinking about. The empathy it fostered was life altering. Empathy that I return when I let them take 10 minutes to put on a single shirt. 

What is the result?

A super confident little girl who, when faced with adversity, has the gumption to give it a try and another try and another. Until she knows she can do it. Then she uses that knowledge to accomplish it next time too. "No thanks, I can do it." is another phrase she says frequently. Because she knows she can do it.






I will never be responsible for taking that away from her.

"& though she be but little, she is fierce."
~Shakspeare

ING
Jen

HWK changed my life... no joke.

If you're wondering what HWK is... you can see and learn about them here; HWK face book or here; my first HWK blog post.

Now that the formalities are out of the way ;) Lets talk LaniKai Pillboxes!! FlyBoy was a BOULDERING MASTER today on the Spencer Butte Trail. I reminded him of the first time he had to boulder...

Sitting on a pillbox is always a highlight. 

Pill boxes are littered ALL over the island (possibly islandS, I assume they were used on neighbor islands as well). They were used in the 1940's as military look outs. Luckily, for us, they were abandoned. I'm sure for, newer, better, more technological ways of detecting intruders.

What's left behind? Fabulous hiking adventures ending in a glimpse of history first hand as we look out over the waters surrounding Oahu. Much like those Service Members of days gone by.

My first Pillbox hike was Lanikai, I strapped MoonSeeker to my back and dragged my other two kids up the hill. Actually WestWind was a force to be reckoned with, as she always is on the trail. FlyBoy however, was stumbling and tripping over loose gravel and getting very frustrated at it. SO we learned how to boulder. GAME CHANGER! We practiced using hands, feet and bum to traverse the trail, rubble, and loose mountain bits. He did admirably.... and has enjoyed bouldering since.

FlyBoy loving his time on the LaniKai Pillbox hike.

LaniKai pillboxes starts at a marked trailhead in the community.

Parking can be tricky, especially now that parking zones and signs have changed and are being enforced. So PLEASE do your research and park legally.

Further info can be found on AllTrails.com.

Once you start up the trail, it's fairly straight forward.

Starting out!

Mom. Take my picture with those islands.

Epic sunsets if you time it right. Which HWK always does ;)

It's mostly up ;) and once you see the ocean just keep it on your left as you ascend and on your right as you descend. If I remember correctly, there were 2 pillboxes to visit.

Hiking With Keiki was a life force that sustained me through some rough waters of military life. I'll never stop singing their praises, recommending their group, posting about fun memories or dreaming about the days when I might be Hiking With Keiki again.

What hikes do YOU love? Hawaii or not! Let us know. I wanna see ALL THE HIKES!

ING
!jen

Taking Christ out of Xmas: A Pagan Adventure.

I know. I know. It's called Christmas... he's right there in the name. How can I possibly think the season isn't about him?

In my youth, I discovered a startling tidbit. Scientists date the birth of Jesus in the summer. While no one knows for sure on what day or even what year he was born... It was the confirming of my distrust in the bible. This little theory and all it's accompanying (albeit, confusing and non conclusion forming) evidence and supporting information moved me away from the church all together. It helped me to name things I had been feeling and disliking for years about my 'religion'. But all that? Is for another post. End result? We follow a Pagan path. A religious path that places reverence on the planet and our connection with it.

As a result, I've celebrated Yule (the winter solstice) for many years now. And for most of those years, we also celebrated Xmas. Social construct made ditching it impossible. Visiting family every year made ditching it impossible. Childhood fondness of the 'season' made ditching it impossible.

Every year, my husband and I would talk about ways we could adjust, moving us away from commercialized Xmas traditions and toward what we really wanted, to spend time with each other and loved ones. Every year I expressed my want to have our 'present opening' morning on the solstice. But again, choosing that for us is all fine and well, but asking our family, who we were visiting each year, to change? Not so fine and well.

ENTER 2017!

This is the first year that we aren't going anywhere and that no one is visiting us. This year also happens to hold a convenient schedule handed out by my husbands office. This year, our sailor is not taking leave. Instead he gets his 4 day weekend at Xmas and another at New Years.
Man! Did I jump on that.

This year, we coupled these serendipitous happenings with our commitment to DO things before BUYING things.
It required a little ground work. To keep this in perspective, our kids are 3, 6, & 10. Prime selfish, me-me-me, give-me-all-the-stuff, age. We discussed with the kids about wanting to DO instead of BUY (a conversation we've actually had several times this year). We used examples of going to visit great friends for their birthdays last summer. Did they get fewer presents? Yes. Was it worth the fun we had instead? Heck Yes! Should we do it again for Xmas? Yes! It was a surprisingly easy conversation. Mostly, they were concerned that we would change our Solstice ritual. 'Will we still get up early and greet the sunrise?' Yes. 'Will we still do our candle spiral?' Yes. They were in!

Our Winter Solstice mat. We add a candle each night until the solstice. We sing and tell stories. It's a holiday staple now.

Step 1: make a list on Pinterest of 5 things they would each like to get. Knowing full well, they're only getting 2. That's the deal for getting to DO fun stuff.

So, here's our plan.

Day 1: We will wake the day after the solstice, take some snacky breakfast with us up a hill and great the sun as it begins to grow stronger. Normally we would eat out for breakfast, but this year?? We're doing presents. On the Solstice! So after our snacky breakfast watching the sunrise, we'll head home and open our presents. The rest of the day is for playing and eating and baking and spending time together. While everyone else is out chasing the "perfect" last minute gift in crowded malls, going into debt for it and stress eating their way through the food court, we'll be hanging at home, playing with our Solstice gifts. This is also the first of hubby's 4 days off.

Day 2: I have to work on the 23rd. So hubby will play more with the kids and their gifts and pack for our #YuleTide2017Adventure.

Day 3&4: On the 24th, after I finish my shift, we'll get on the road to a snowy little town and check into a hotel. We'll sled, build snowmen, eat snow, make snow angels, have a snowball fight? Maybe. Then, we'll have a nice dinner out (we've already inquired at our favorite restaurant in this town to confirm they'll be open). If we get lucky, it'll actually snow while we're there. Even if not, we can play in the snow more, until our feet are froze and our noses are froze, and head back home with 2 days of snowy fun and delicious meals in the memory banks. We're even planning to take homemade ornaments and candy canes to give to everyone working in the various places we patronize.

I'm SO very excited to head out on this winter adventure with my family. I'm also VERY excited to see what other adventures we create next year as we continue this tradition of DO instead of BUY.

If you like to see things develop as they go, you can always head over to my author IG account and follow along. I'll be posting pictures (like this first one) every step of the way.

What are you DOING this holiday season??

ING
!jen

PS
You can also see some other holiday ramblings here:
2012
2013
2013
2017

MEH 8.1 The Work Cycle

Montessori and Movement: a quick look at the work cycle.

First, lets define the work cycle for anyone not familiar.
The 'work cycle' refers to everything in between taking a job from the shelf and replacing it there when finished. Including, but not limited to;

choose job
take it from shelf
place it on rug (previously laid out)
complete job (whatever that entails from the lesson given), maybe several times... until finished
place all items of the job back on the tray, prepped for next person to use
take job back to shelf and place in it's spot

Do you realize just how much movement that cycle requires?
Lets say your child chooses 5-7 jobs in a morning. This means they are repeating this 'work cycle' that many times PLUS! doing the actual jobs and whatever movement each one requires. No wonder your child is exhausted after just one morning.

This movement within a Montessori classroom is one of the things that makes it unique from other educational models. The method, materials and philosophy not only allow a child to move but encourage, Nay! require it.

Montessori herself said:
"Muscles which nature has destined for movement find their rest in orderly movements, just as the normal rhythm of breathing in the open air represents rest for the lungs." ~ The Discover of the Child




If you're interested in reading for yourself, The Discovery of the Child can easily be purchased on amazon.

If you're interested in what Montessori's thoughts on movement can mean for your child at home and within your parenting style, check out our YouTube channel:
MEHtube, once there, look for
Episode MEH 8: Montessori and Movement.












ING
!jen